My friend Colin, once in a punk band that wasn't particularly good or successful*, ambitiously put out a 12" record on green vinyl, not the cheapest of formats. He pressed up 300 albums. He sold 40. One of the fortunate forty was yours truly.
Now Colin, appearing to be going through some sort of early mid-life crisis (the reality is much sweeter, having something to do with world travel and affairs of the heart) is selling many of his worldly possessions, including his pile of 200 and something Army Of Darkness albums in one job lot.
The subsequent TradeMe auction has received thousands of hits, mostly due to the engaging way it is written, and the amusing question and answer section. Check it out.
The auction has also made the front page of New Zealand's "Stuff" website; the article is transcribed below:
They played shows no-one went to, made records no-one bought and are only now getting the attention they had hoped for thanks to Trade Me.
Colin Mitchell put a bulk lot of 200-odd copies of his punk band's album on Trade Me last week - and it has since received more than 11,000 hits and 34 bids. As of Wednesday morning, bids had reached $111.
Army of Darkness printed 300 copies of its album Delamorte Dellamore on green vinyl in 2002 but sold only 40, losing more than $4500.
The record was even declared "too s**t to steal" after a friend fell asleep at a bus stop and had his wallet, cell phone, keys and shoes stolen - but not the album.
Mitchell kept the leftover copies of the album in his basement and recently put the whole collection on Trade Me, hoping that someone would buy them for the novelty factor, or to decorate their child's room with.
The Auckland man's sarcastic and witty auction - he describes the band as "the biggest mistake of my life" - has brought newfound attention to the group, which was together from 2001 to 2009.
He says the "cruddy" band struggled on like a dying man for "nine years longer than anyone wanted or needed".
"I thought the novelty factor would be enough but the music let us down," he said of the album's epic failure.
"It's been quite a tough experience because people keep giving them back to me. I thought they would eventually become a collector's edition but I was extremely wrong."
Mitchell has been answering questions in the same tone of his listing, telling people that he expected the records would be melted down or turned into wallpaper.
Despite the widespread attention, the bidding hasn't been fierce.
"Financially it is not a success but in terms of bringing attention to my failings it is," Mitchell said.
He promised that when the auction had reached the 10,000 mark he would put a link to the group's second album, which they appropriately titled Too S**t To Steal.
"I think they will be sorely disappointed when they hear it - it's just really not good," he said. "The combination of uselessness and further failure meant we didn't do anything with it."
* I was also in a punk band that wasn't particularly good or successful, The Poorly Rounded. Thankfully we had the presence of mind to make recordings on tape, and give them out to all seven fans we had.
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