What's worse than having your knickers in a wad?

THESE.



Thanks to Milka and the good people at Regretsy* for this find.




*Regretsy is a Smoochest type site based on finds from Etsy, sort of an 'Arts and Crafts' themed United States version of TradeMe. Yes, it's as bad as that description makes it sound.

One man's broken old junk is another man's broken old junk

Living in a kibbutz?

A setter of low expectations, so that you're never disappointed?

One of those "hardcore" wrestlers who hits themselves over the head with domestic appliances?

Then have we got a feature for you.

TradeMe (New Zealand's number one online auction website, fact fans) has a variety of listings for items that are, well.....broken. Kaput. Damaged. Not in working order.

And they're for sale!

Let's take a look:


WHAT IT IS: 'Broken Motorola, Half Pink Half silver' (a phone in case you hadn't guessed)

DETAIL OF AUCTION:"Here It Is If You Want It.

Check out my other great listings at great prices, items similar to this one."

(Here It Is If You Want It is the next catchy slogan from the people that brought you What You See Is What You Get)

PRICE: Someone has bid on this! You'll have to put up a whole $1.50, If You Want It.



(Oh boy)
WHAT IT IS: 'Broken TV for sale ***DOLLAR RESERVE BROKEN TV***'

DETAIL OF AUCTION: "As shown on the photos.

Broken Philip TV and the receiver for sale.
Comes with its 2 remote controllers and all the cables.

Once it was broken I never tried to see if it still works or not so I wouldn't know.

All the connections going into the TV receiver and TV itself are fine by the look of it.

Please don't hesitate to ask any questions!

Happy bidding :)"

PRICE: Someone has also bid on this! Possibly the world's most optimistic repairman, an aforementioned wrestler-type, or some sort of fantastic combination of the two.


(remarkable focus on this snap)
WHAT IT IS: 'broken wind-up skeleton dinosaur'

DETAIL OF AUCTION: "old and dusty - the little wires? that hold legs on are gone. To be taken as is.

Please ask quesstions - no refunds
Buyer to pay within 7days thanks"

PRICE: Start your bids at $8.50 , By Now for $12. Where do they get these prices?


(remember these?)
WHAT IT IS: 'Broken Fax' (This seller favours the short and to the point approach, almost to the point of curtness.)

DETAIL OF AUCTION: "can be used for parts"

(That's it. Can be used for parts? As though that's something people are looking for... 'hmm, really need some fax parts....i'll just pop on TradeMe....')

PRICE: $1. This is one auction you'd hope to be a day late and a dollar short.


(This one might be my favourite of the lot)
WHAT IT IS: 'Broken Landmaster Mower'

DETAIL OF AUCTION: "Landmaster Mower brought new in Jan/Feb 2009 from sole NZ distributor in Richmond, Nelson. Only had 5.5 Hrs use since new but broken more than 12 times. Cost $2995 plus GST but want what it has cost me to own and fix hence price. Have since found out that this type of mower has a history with multiple failures. Current condition has multiple cracks and a wheel carrier broken as per photo, also mower currently disassembled. Please note welds have no penitration and expect more failure with use. I offer no warranty with this mower. Any questions please ask. Photo quality poor but camera is broken at moment. If more photos required please ask. Price includes GST and receipt given to winning bidder"

(Just wow. WOW.)

PRICE: $5,635. Five thousand, six hundred and thirty five dollars. Bearing in mind it cost $2995 when new, and now it is anything but new.

The last one.... well, I just took the actual image of the auction, otherwise you may have not believed me.

I have marked the points of note.

This is also not on

NO.

Thanks to Puff for this picture to which I am incredibly aghast.

A current update on the Prime Minister of New Zealand

He has also taken to wearing a New Age healing bracelet*

*healing properties pending.

Hots on for grubby ones?

Don't ask me what I was searching for, but this came up as a search result.
Completely irrelevant to what I was looking for.

But....

Just read that.

That seems wrong.

Not the gay thing, that's totally fine.

The not washing thing.

John Jacobson's Double Dream Hands

N to Z-list celebrities.

New Zealand is quite a small, and isolated country.

Probably too small and isolated for it to contain any "celebrities" in the common vernacular.

Oh sure, there are New Zealanders who are well-known overseas.

But local celebrities? Surely not.

Well, in one sense you could make the argument we don't. Despite how the media works.

I lead you to this, a new website of interest and mirth, Bleak New Zealand Celebrities

A display of people in NZ known by most of the population, for various reasons, but as you can see, they don't exactly "live in an elite circle" socially.

Take this example from one of our local cricket players, finding a rather mundane way to use the networking tool, Twitter :




Or this, from a popular young band:



Not exactly what dreams are made of.

Thanks to ex-pat Si Jae Hwan for for passing this on to us here at The Smoochest. I share it with you.

Accurate GWB rendition

If you imagine this to be like John Carpenter's "They Live" where you can see the aliens when you wear the special sunglasses, then the artist here has done a bang-up job.

Insert your own "that kid looks a right wally" joke here

Not sure what the deal with the Spock hands is either.

Thanks to Riddimiz for this contribution.