Thursday, October 28, 2010

Bag this...

Photobucket
WHAT IT IS: 'bean bag Bart Simpson'

DETAIL OF AUCTION: "good condition
beans can be removed and the bag can be washed
buyers must collect"


PRICE: Start your bidding with twenty-five smackers.

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS: None as yet.

Cheers to Dan Tanner for another piece 'de smooch'

Friday, October 22, 2010

Well give 'em points for trying.....

....but none at all for the end result.


WHAT IT IS: Here we (presumably) have a fellow trying to sell his Audi sedan.

DETAIL OF AUCTION: Now, the description is fairly humdrum and stat-filled. So he's taken the step of trying to embellish the car's alleged attraction to members of the opposite sex.

Key word being "tried"

Photobucket
Hmm, the sun seems to be appearing in several directions here. And what has happened to the young lady's right hand?

Photobucket
Apparently, on Provincial State Highway 38, on the way to Lake Rerewhakaaitu there's a car wash staffed by three very average examples of the "Myspace girl"

Photobucket
And also, the same young lady from the beach shows up here too. Bit cold for that outfit isn't it?

Photobucket
Oh, and this definitely happened. You wouldn't believe the kind of women of loose virtue you'll find when you stop you car on the side of the road near Martinborough.

PRICE: Starts at $5,000. No takers as yet.

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS:
Q: hey mate, would you be keen on a deal? ll.xplicit.tj (5 ) 3:20 pm, Thu 7 Oct
A: no, thank you. 4:49 pm, Thu 7 Oc


Thanks to Nikon for this

So that's where the dog's blanket has gone.



Cheers to Tatsie for the contrib.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Rear rub down



Cheers to The Butcher for capturing this.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Something for the ladies

The Man Repeller




A discourse in clothing that neither appeals to women and especially not to men.

Oh, do you listen to Irvana bro?

Photobucket

WHAT IT IS: "Awesome Artwork SKATEBOARD for sale: Going Cheap"

DETAIL OF AUCTION: "Condition: OK condition, Runs Perfectly

Size: about 79cm long and 20cm wide

Got Kurt Cobain, Bruce Lee and Also China's Chairman Mao protraits on the deck which I thought is pretty cool :)

** PLEASE NOTE: actual colour may differ from the picture shown due to difference in each individual's monitor's settings

Pick up area is in Albany, Auckland

Can be shipped when request"

PRICE: Buy now for $19.95 so maybe reconsider lighting that bonfire with that spare $20 note you had for just such an occasion.

QUESTIONS and ANSWERS: None, sadly.

Photobucket

Thanks ever so much to Gasso for finding this amazing item.

Monday, October 18, 2010

And i thought my Dino Riders comic book was lame...

"Danica Patrick Comic Book: Bluewater Productions has already brought new readers to sequential storytelling with its Political Power, Female Force and Fame comic book biography series. Now the independent comics company is reaching out to the members of NASCAR nation with its latest comic: Fame: Danica Patrick. Bluewater's latest biography comic traces Patrick's rise through the male-dominated ranks of auto racing. It also explores the fascination that the public has with Patrick. Writer CW Cooke, who has also penned Bluewater's top-selling Taylor Swift biography comic, said that even the most devoted of fans will learn something new about Patrick after reading this book. Danica Patrick will hit comic book shops and online retailers like Amazon in December."



Apart from the chequered background, is there any clue that this is a person who has achieved a level of "fame" by racing cars for a living?

Friday, October 15, 2010

Mixed messages

Photobucket

But quality is the outtake, either way.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

smooch logging situ



Cheers to Corsican for the contrib.

Friday, October 1, 2010

We don't Thneed this



Contributor Ruban brings us a real peach here, a real piece of Human Smooch Ingenuity, where people manage to conceive and design something that the next person would have harmlessly laughed off as a nonsensical thought.


To quote from the engadget website "Uh, er, that's the Body-laptop Interface. The idea is to provide the user "privacy, warmth, and concentration" when using a laptop in public spaces. It's just a concept for now"

Well if it does become a reality, at least you won't need to go online to find out that the person across from you in the coffee shop is a complete fuckwit. Actually, maybe they could turn this into something beneficial - a punishment to the types of people who most moronic, antagonistic comments to Youtube videos.

Footwear of Japan

Photobucket

The Japanese love a good shoe. Well, actually they love shoes of any type, good, eyewateringly horrendous, impractical, garish, whatever, as long as it's new.


Photobucket
Here, for example is a television shopping channel advertising shoes. In this case, they spent up to 8 minutes bending the shoe by hand, then pursing it apart, perhaps in theory trying to convey the "comfort" of this particular style, but in reality, pre-smooching the shoe prior to purchase.

And now, some pictures....

Photobucket
A decidedly flaccid, oddly coloured jandal.

Photobucket
In the Nike Store in Harajuku, customers may personalise and customise their own Nike shoe, thereby making "individual" and "unique". Of course, there's no accounting for taste...

Photobucket
....For example.

Photobucket
Here's a new design from Asics. It's completely acceptable. Well, to be fair, it's only moderately bizarre in a country that retails the following examples of shoe for the otherwise-sane human being.....

Photobucket
these....in case you were looking for a shoe that evoked strong memories of an amphibious vehicle...

Photobucket
...these...that offer multiple option for doing up the shoe, including the previously-unseen "3/4 skew lacing", which having now seen, it's previous lack of commonality within shoe design is not a mystery...

Photobucket
...shoes that look like hippie ribbons...

Photobucket
...shoes that are heavily coated in animal pelting (I bet these smell phenomenal after a summer's day)...

Photobucket
....shoes that have been designed to save on ...on.... ...whatever that thing is made out of...

Photobucket
....or you can have it in this cheerful fruity variant...

Photobucket
....shoes that look like a grim-faced, middle-aged lesbians well-worn beanbag that her old dog spends the day upon, farting incessantly...

Photobucket
...dozens of revolting sandals (but then, Japan is not alone bequeathing such monstrosities upon its populous)...

Photobucket
....these... these.... THESE!!!

Photobucket
...and obviously, being Japan, there's the cartoon version of the "Gumby Thwomper", just in case you had a single shred of dignity left that you were looking to erase for all eternity...

But then, my main squeeze secured herself a fantastic pair of Japan-only Nike hightops.

So in summary, Japan is fantastic, wacky, confusing, incongruous, and the home to many terrible shoes. Bless.