So, this happened

Even the idea was odd enough...

Thanks to Li-jah for the contribution.

The latest in the world of knitting.

Obviously struggling to reach the "youth market" to get into knitting, the wool boards apparently have taken two attempts (both worthless, and indeed laughable, but let's continue the hypothesis for now) to broaden the appeal of the hobby and its resulting product.

First, there's a the "push" strategy, hoping to make knitting appealing to the younger audience:



What an incredibly likely, and most assuredly, funky situation.

Their second approach was to hope for a "pull" strategy, where young people demand knitted products from their elders, increasing sales that way.

So what do "young people" like?





Obviously!

Youths are always skinning their jeans whilst skateboarding. And a smart brown padding of wool is the just the thing to solve that.

Honestly, you sense the creators of these items much resemble a set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, dusty and wizened as it sits in a corner of the attic, also rendered increasingly useless to the modern generation.

But there are still babies! Knit the days away for babies. Those cheery, fluid-emitting little buggers.



(A big thanks to Robin and long-time knitter Jena Nielcobb for the finds.)

Insert your own "that kid looks a right wally" joke here

Not sure what the deal with the Spock hands is either.

Thanks to Riddimiz for this contribution.

Meme vs Smerchandise

I think we're all familiar with the "internet meme" aren't we?

A form of the running joke that evolves over the telling.

Unfortunately there is over-emphasis placed on milking these often funny moments as fars they will go.

Often until someone tries to profit from them.

That's when it gets smooch.

Here's an example.



Here we have a supermarket cleaning sign that somebody has doctored to make a "300" joke. It doesn't make me laugh, but I can see the humour, imagination and the effort made here. Commendable.

However....someone else had to take it too far.



Because this is a joke you need to wear?
Because this is a joke with legs?
Because this is a joke that gets funnier with every telling?

None of the above.

It's because someone thought there was money to be made.

They've taken all the spontaneity out of it.

And haven't they done the shoddiest, most slap-dash attempt at designing it?

Why is the top of the triangle touching the T in "Caution"?

Just look at the people!



I mean, come on. The guy with the magic marker had better sketching skills, especially when it comes to the depiction of human beings.

The one on the shirt looks like an amputee being assaulted by Gumby.

But anyway.

Smooch. As. Hell.

Cease and desist from this sort of activity. Let the people have their jokes and let the joke die.

Bag this...

WHAT IT IS: 'bean bag Bart Simpson'

DETAIL OF AUCTION: "good condition
beans can be removed and the bag can be washed
buyers must collect"

PRICE: Start your bidding with twenty-five smackers.

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS: None as yet.

Cheers to Dan Tanner for another piece 'de smooch'

Fat lady has sung on this idea

Oh dear.

It doesn't take much to make and/or design t-shirts.

Point proven above.

What we seem to have is a bizarre menagerie of The Simpsons, an award-winning ad from years ago (see below) and some incredibly sub-par draughtsmanship.



Here's just a couple of questions to the genious behind this creation.

WHO is the obese, nude lady?

WHY does she care where Bart Simpson is?

This is what happens when you smoke copious amounts of ganja early in the morning, because by the time you come up with "brilliant" ideas it's only lunchtime and you still have the entire afternoon to unfortunately put them into action.

Bizarre "commemorative" t-shirt

As downright odd as the "free" ones that used to come with computer games in the early 1990's.