Not big enough?

There's three words you'd least expect to accompany such a photo. (And WHAT a photo it is.)

Thanks to Dork for the Contrib'.

It's gotten to that point.

Calculating figure

Apparently this lil fella is worth quite the sum of money.

Thanks to Happyjack for the find.

Well give 'em points for trying.....

....but none at all for the end result.


WHAT IT IS: Here we (presumably) have a fellow trying to sell his Audi sedan.

DETAIL OF AUCTION: Now, the description is fairly humdrum and stat-filled. So he's taken the step of trying to embellish the car's alleged attraction to members of the opposite sex.

Key word being "tried"


Hmm, the sun seems to be appearing in several directions here. And what has happened to the young lady's right hand?


Apparently, on Provincial State Highway 38, on the way to Lake Rerewhakaaitu there's a car wash staffed by three very average examples of the "Myspace girl"


And also, the same young lady from the beach shows up here too. Bit cold for that outfit isn't it?


Oh, and this definitely happened. You wouldn't believe the kind of women of loose virtue you'll find when you stop you car on the side of the road near Martinborough.

PRICE: Starts at $5,000. No takers as yet.

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS:
Q: hey mate, would you be keen on a deal? ll.xplicit.tj (5 ) 3:20 pm, Thu 7 Oct
A: no, thank you. 4:49 pm, Thu 7 Oc

Thanks to Nikon for this

Just a little on the murky side

WHAT IT IS: A 1980 Bedford CF van, stunningly photographed to make it appear as a poor cousin to the Mystery Machine from "Scooby Doo".


DETAIL OF AUCTION: "no motor
all body work done,all been undersealed
no rust
new brake shoes
four new shocks
2 new tyres
cert for 2.8 Diesel
rego no hold"

PRICE: $900 of your Earthly dollars.

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS: None. I wish for someone to ask them about their aperture settings.

Just stand here in my old jacket Dot, put on your most shameful expression

Peep the mirror.


"Thanks" to Happyjack for this.

He would not say "perfect"

Fuck. ing. hell.

WHAT IT IS: Authentic Clark's Wallabees - Tan Desert Boot

DETAIL OF AUCTION: "Authentic pair of Clark's Wallabees!

Lovely tan, super comfortable and stylish!

These are a UK size 7, but I am a size 9 US and fit these fine, to give you some indication.

You can't beat genuine Clark's for quality!




wu tang keds vans loafers style england"

PRICE: Start the bidding at 50 smackers or cough up a whole $90 to buy them now. Yeah right.

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS: Two questions: 1. How old are they? 2. How much wear? drummer47 (175 ) 4:34 pm, Sun 27 Jun
Answer: Hey there, I bought these a few years ago. They have been in storage for a few years. They have some signs of wear on the outside, but in all they are in pretty good condition. But I would not say "perfect" 4:39 pm, Sun 27 Jun

Consider these pxts

Now my own smooch cellphone should have been long cosigned to a rubbish bin, but I refuse to pay vast amounts of money for a device that basically lets people bother me all day long. However it can still sort of take a pxt or two, albeit very poor ones.

However these items were terrible anyway:


Animal cruelty. I am going to make an entire topic about "these" sorts of garments.


Viva Las Vegas... with its souvenir stores open all hours of the night, peddling shirts like this, with 33 shirt's worth of designs on one.



Pwhomp.


"Trenise, cleandown in the garbage aisle please. Cleandown in the garbage aisle."


Ah this old joke again. Again. They make footwear with the texture of dusting cloths for people who largely remain inactive inside their own home.

How not to use photography to sell your product

WHAT IT IS: Cute Silver JUST THE ONE SHOE ONDiamante Sandals - Size 8

DESCRIPTION OF AUCTION: "Style: Heels
Lovely low heeled silver JUST THE ONE SHOE ONsandals with diamantes - Size 8...

Excellent SITTING DOWN FOR PHOTOcondition, worn once...

Measurements:
Sole length - 8cm
Heel height - 7cm
Sole JUST THE ONE SHOE ONwidth at widest point - 9cm"

PRICE: Starting bid $1, Buy Now $20

COMMENT FROM SELLER: None, but I want to know WHO IS TAKING THE PHOTO and WHERE IS THE OTHER SHOE?

Only slightly less credible than the real NZ Idol

WHAT IT IS: "NZ Idol Mirror Poster"

DETAIL OF AUCTION: "New Zealand Idol Poster aprox 2m x 1m

Made of hard plastic.
A fun mirror poster to have for your party room, it has a microphone painted on the mirror. You and your friends can Kareoke in front of it and make your own fun time memories."

("Fun time memories?" - Incredulous Ed)

PRICE: Start your bid with a simple $1 coin, or take it, take it, TAKE IT ON HOME for $20, right now.

COMMENT FROM SELLER: None, but I am tempted to ask them if they thought the mirror/poster would appear more enticing to potential buyers by having the photo on its side, as they do.

Menagerie of smooch

Just drink in this most startling promotional photo, contributed to this site by Mr. Michael F (in Math) Logie. Mike is known for his keen "smooch eye" and he's blessed us all with an absolute gem.



In his own words:

"this is a sweet picture... "timaru curry club handicap trot" there they are.... to the right there, the curry club... and they have two six packs of kingfisher beer there with them aswell... which is a shame cos it looks like there are 16 of them in the club.. so somones going to have to share... on a sunny day like that aswell."

Just stop for a minute or two, put down what you're doing and have a moment of consideration on this one. You're worth it.

The power of photography

Now it's not for me to make fun of a mortgagee sale, but here really is an example of the power of persuasion through photography. Take note of these exquisite snaps, really creating an aura of homeliness and capturing the evocative "my next dream home" emotion, so important in the art of the sale.



"13 Richmond Street, Ohai $26,000

Affordable Rural Home
Asking price $26,000. Spacious 2 bedroom bungalow with open plan living/dining in Ohai Western Southland. Ideal doer upper for the handyman all on 1016m2 section with town water and sewerage.

2
1


Type & Style Lifestyle, Bungalow
Rooms 2 Bedroom(s), Open Plan Lounge, Open Plan Dining, Separate Laundry
Exterior Features Deck
Construction Weatherboard, Both Joinery, Permanent Materials
Interior Features Electric Cooking, Stainless Steel Kitchen Finish, Stove, Woodburner, Fixed Floor Coverings, Blinds, Curtains, Drapes, Light Fittings
Property Features 1,012 Sqm, Flat Contour, North West Aspect, Partially Fenced, Private Views, Good Access
Building Features 1 Car Garaging, External Garage Access, Bungalow
Services Mains Sewerage, Town Supply Water
Legal Information Local Council: SDC"





"The average sale price of properties in Southland is $223,431 for sales in the last 3 months."

Thanks to Jack for the contribution.