WELCOME BACK TO WAL-MART! ENJOY OUR AIR-FILLED BREAD FOR PEOPLE WITH AIR-FILLED HEADS!
Those forlorn hats are the biscuit base to the rest of this display's icing and cherries.
Cheap Mexican DVD's. The one on the top right is particularly disturbing.
But you can't watch these DVD's without a packet of ¡SPONCH! can you? That would be insane. What may be more reasonable is to be completely clueless as to what ¡SPONCH! actually is.
Fisherman have very low self esteem. They'll take a smashed tub of bait from the fridge at Wal-Mart, shrug despondently then shuffle off to fish, a solitary tear slowly trickling down their cheek.
It's a touchdown~! ....for smoochness.
Now it's easy enough to laugh at these knock off sodas, especially their weak imitation names, but the Dr Pepper rip off tasted near-identical, and was only 78¢. Clearly it was made of cats and automotive lubricant.
It exclaims "GREAT VALUE." It really says "YOU ARE TOO POOR TO ALLOW YOURSELF TO ENJOY YOUR FOOD."
Mmmm. Unusually dry.
Mmm. Unusually gelatinous.
Inedibles, more like.
Of course, the photo on the outside can't possibly live up to the real thing.
What you can't tell from this photo is that this was the size of an unusually tall 4-year old child, and appears to consist entirely of food colouring and hardened sugar. You wouldn't find this in N.Z.
Cheesing the days away. Almost everything featured here has the gluey consistency, which is the only way a human body's digestive tract is able to process this non-food.
Artichoke Dip or one of Pierre Curie's petrie-dish experiments? You be the judge.
Oh Dinty Moore. When other people stop, you just truck on into Carb Town at twice the speed.
That slice of mushroom looks like a prehistoric fossil preserved in tree sap. But it probably tastes much worse.
Oh, I get it. The chicken is in a separate can TO KEEP IT FRESHER. Or two withhold e.coli from forming until the moment of preparation.
THAT'S WHY PEOPLE WHO SHOP AT WAL-MART ARE FAT. THERE, I SAID IT.
2 comments:
That top right cheap mexican DVD "Agapito se mete en todo", translates to "Agapito puts in everything", or perhaps "puts IT in everything". It being his genitals.
I was hungry before reading this post.
Great work.
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