"Now pay attention. Your feet are two of the most useful, if sometimes unsightly, appendages you own. Should they freeze, your ability to stand, walk, run, and kick will be severely inhibited.
Solution: Cozy Feet. Simply place them in the microwave. And stand back. In just minutes you will have a foolproof way of ensuring defrosted feet, even in the most artic of winters.
Features
* Cozy Boots contain a special blend of flax seed and herbs that, once heated, stay warm for up to two hours
* With proper care they'll continue defrosting toes for years
* Can be reheated thousands of times
* Cozy Boots can also be frozen to treat sprains, bruising and swelling
* One size fits all
* Not suitable for use by Diabetics
* Colours may vary
Specification
* Dimensions: Height: 20.0cm Width: 10.0cm Depth: 20.0cm
* Weight: 1.0Kg"
OH. MY. GOD.
Who the hell thinks it's fine to put shoes into a microwave?
FX: Rifle shot
Right, that leaves the rest of us then.
So many wow factor moments with this new standard of laziness.
"With proper care" gets me - if anyone is lazy enough to NOT buy socks and buy these disasters, does anyone think they'll afford them "proper care" (which could only be to sterilise them fully with multiple sanitisers and anti-bacterial agents, before putting them into the dryer, before putting them anywhere remotely near the microwave)? of course not, they'll wear them all night, sweating away, then leave them under their bed to accrue thousands of germs, then put them straight into the microwave the next time they need them. And some poor soul is going to want to defrost some food in that afterward. Bleh.
Curiously, if you're this lazy and a diabetic, you can't wear them. Must be due to the "special blend of flax seed and herbs", the thought of the smell of which sent an icy chill down my spine.
£14.99 from here ...they're also available in Australia, so the next trip your Aunty Jeanette takes, well, be warned.
P.S. Just LOOK at them. Item of Consideration.
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